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 Like Champagne, Make Your Life
Sparkle
By Chuck Gallozzi
Stuff
happens. What happens is neither good nor bad. It merely IS. But we,
in our attempt to understand everything, stick labels on things. We
call things big or small, hot or cold, smooth or rough. These
descriptive words can help, but where we go astray is when we label
things as `good' or `bad.' These two words (and other negative and
positive words) do not describe reality; they merely describe how we
FEEL at the moment.
For instance, as I write this, it is
raining and the sky is grey. Suppose a friend calls from another
city and asks me what the weather is like. If I were to answer, "The
weather is lousy," that does not describe what is happening outside
(the weather), but what is happening inside (my feelings). We cannot
master life until we master how we describe it, for the words we use
determine how we feel. Does it make sense to describe a rainy day as
`lousy'? Why would I want to feel bad?
Suppose I had answered
my friend's question differently. If I had stuck to the facts and
said, "It is raining and the sky is grey," then I would have been
detached from the events (rain and grey sky) and free to go on
enjoying life. The way we see things is not based on reality but, on
a choice we make. Why not choose to see things pragmatically. That
is, pick a viewpoint that works for you, empowers you. Why spend
time choosing a viewpoint that works against you and prevents you
from getting the most out of life?
Suppose you lived at the
foot of a mountain. Would you see the mountain as a glorious
opportunity for adventure by conquering it and yourself? Or would
you see it as requiring too much effort to scale and just an
inconvenient barrier? I believe the perspective of G. K. Chesterton
(1874~1936) is the correct one, "An inconvenience is only an
adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience
rightly considered."
A mountain is whatever we say it is,
inconvenience or adventure. So it is with life. The choice of how we
look at it is a switch that fills our lives with light or darkness.
Why is it that many people still don't realize that it is THEIR
FINGER that is on the switch? I choose to see life as a magnificent
adventure, not a struggle that I have to put up with. As a result, I
have known and continue to experience many adventures.
Today, many of us work with computers. Although I love computers,
every now and then something goes wrong, such as misplacing a file.
But when something goes amiss, it is not because the computer
doesn't like me or life is unfair, but because I did something
wrong. I try to learn from my mistake and avoid making similar
errors again. I'm sure you behave in the same way.
Yet, when
it comes to managing the greatest computer of all (our brain and
mind), many act differently. When they get bad results, rather than
trying to learn from what they did incorrectly, they search for
scapegoats. Instead of seeking solutions they search for excuses.
Many computer users are familiar with the term GIGO (Garbage In,
Garbage Out), which simply means that the results we get are only as
good as the input. The same is true for the computer that controls
my life (my brain and mind). If I put garbage in my mind (negative
thoughts) the output will be garbage (an unhappy life).
It is
essential that we clearly understand the relationship between our
thoughts and the life we experience. If I insist on dwelling on
negative thoughts, I will feel negative, which will lead to negative
behavior, which in turn will bring about negative results. Of
course, when I choose to focus on the positive, the opposite
happens. In a word, what I choose to think about acts as a switch
that either opens the blinds, flooding my life with light, or closes
the blinds, shutting out the light.
Since we have a choice,
doesn't it make sense to look at life as an exciting adventure? Many
have already done so, and here are two examples:
1. "Never
forget that life can only be nobly inspired and rightly lived if you
take it bravely and gallantly, as a splendid adventure in which you
are setting out into an unknown country, to meet many a joy, to find
many a comrade, to win and lose many a battle." (Annie Besant,
1847~1933).
2. "What we get from this adventure is just sheer
joy. And joy is, after all, the end of life. We do not live to eat
and make money. We eat and make money to be able to enjoy life. That
is what life means and what life is for." (George Leigh Mallory,
1886~1924).
Before we can make the right choices, we have to
be aware of our choices. The great writer Joseph Epstein contrasts
what we can and cannot choose:
"All men and women are born,
live, suffer and die; what distinguishes us one from another is our
dreams, whether they be dreams about worldly or unworldly things,
and what we do to make them come about... We do not choose to be
born. We do not choose our parents. We do not choose our historical
epoch, the country of our birth, or the immediate circumstances of
our upbringing. We do not, most of us, choose to die; nor do we
choose the time and conditions of our death. But within this realm
of choicelessness, WE DO CHOOSE HOW WE LIVE."
Thus far I have
been emphasizing the power of choice for good reason, but in all
fairness, not everyone is equally free to make the right choices.
You and I will choose to cross the street when the light is green
and choose to wait when the light is red. But what if you are blind?
Well, depressed people are blind. They cannot see the joy, wonder,
and glory that surrounds them. Not because they are lazy or stupid,
but because they suffer from a mental disorder. So, if you know some
very negative people, try not to judge them harshly and wish them
well.
Adventure is the champagne of life. Like champagne,
make your life sparkle. But what of those who have not yet
discovered that life is an adventure? What can they do to bring
themselves closer to this empowering point of view? Developing the
curiosity, courage, and commitment of a child would help.
Children are filled with insatiable curiosity. Each step they take
is a step into the unknown. What will they discover next? What will
they encounter around the corner? They lead the life of an
adventurer and explorer. They don't understand the meaning of
`boring.' You were once that child and you have the right to reclaim
that inquisitive spirit.
It's not hard to do so. Start by
shifting your attention away from that empty, banal chatter that
clutters your mind and focus on what is happening around you now.
What do you hear? Can you tune in on something enchanting or
fascinating? Be curious. Search for it. Find it.
Do the same
with your other senses. For instance, how many of the surrounding
odors, aromas, or fragrances can you identify? How many of them were
you ignoring or overlooking? Let's try the other senses. What about
touch? Can you feel the warmth or coolness of your environment?
Where do you feel it most?
How about taste? Lick your lips.
How do they taste? Why do they taste that way? Is it because of
something you ate or drank or because of the environment (the rain
or a sea breeze)? Look around you. What do you see that is
interesting or different? These exercises help to draw us out of the
fantasy world of our imagination and replant us in reality. How can
we enjoy life if we are unaware of its presence?
Also, be
curious about your own mind. Explore it. Rather than ignoring the
chatter of your mind, observe it. What are you usually thinking
about? Are your thoughts helpful or harmful? If harmful, what
thoughts should you replace them with?
Because every step a
child takes is a step into the unknown, it takes great courage to
continue on its journey of discovery. Courage is the second trait of
a child that we need to reclaim. For without it, our journey may
come to an abrupt halt. Johann Friedrich Von Schiller (1759~1805)
put it well, "Who dares nothing, need hope for nothing."
And
Patrick Overton's Faith Poem offers artful encouragement:
"When you walk to the edge of all the light you have, And you take
the first step into the darkness of the unknown, You must believe
that one of two things will happen, There will be something solid
for you to stand upon or you will be taught to fly."
Here are
two more lessons about courage:
1. "Life shrinks or expands
in proportion to one's courage." (Anais Nin, 1903~1977)
2.
"Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how
far one can go." (T. S. Eliot, 1888~1965)
As young children
explore their world, they may slip, stumble, or stagger, but if they
fall, they simply pick themselves up and go on again. This is the
third characteristic of children that we need to reclaim,
commitment. Those who are committed, never give up. Their mindset
doesn't allow it. To them, there is no such thing as failure, only
lessons to be learned. Of course, we are free to ignore our lessons
and drop out of life's school, but at what price?
Let's turn
again to Anais Nin for wisdom:
"It takes courage to push
yourself to places that you have never been before... to test your
limits... to break through barriers.
"And the day came when
the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful
than the risk it took to blossom."
Within you is a bud
waiting to blossom. It is a little child with curiosity, courage,
and commitment, that is eager to participate in the adventure we
call life. Are you willing to embrace that child, take it by the
hand, and join it on its remarkable journey?
About the author:
Chuck Gallozzi lived, studied, and worked in Japan for 15 years,
immersing himself in the wisdom of the Far East and graduated with
B.A. and M.A. degrees in Asian Studies. He joined Zig Ziglar, Brian
Tracy, and other experts to coauthor "101 Great Ways to
Improve Your Life" and also joined Dr. Wayne Dyer, and
others to coauthor, "Walking with the Wise for Overcoming
Obstacles." He is a Canadian writer, Certified NLP Practitioner,
Founder and Leader of the Positive Thinkers Group in
Toronto, speaker, seminar leader, and coach.
His articles are published in books, newsletters, magazines, and
newspapers. He was interviewed on CBC's "Steven and Chris Show,"
appearing nationally on Canadian TV. Chuck is a catalyst for change
who is dedicated to bringing out the best in others.
http://www.personal-development.com/chuck
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